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May 09, 2006
Having something to say... conclusion(s)
I recently met with both Lisa and Cameron to talk about my thesis. Cameron pointed to my desire for a 'grand narrative' as perhaps important, and that I shouldn't shy away from it. There was an interesting argument around what a thesis is as opposed to an exegesis, Cameron thinks/thought I was looking for something important to say... and kind of went on to say that he thought I had that (specifically in relation to practice based research). I was asked what my conclusion was and I said I thought I had multiple conclusions (based on different observations). It was suggested that I might perhaps write up these conclusions... working backwards... in the expectation that this might help me work towards an 'end-in-sight'. I haven't done this yet, but I have given a lot of thought the practice-based/led research one.
I had to write a blurb about my research for a book in the weekend, and I wrote this (this is unedited and written in a rush but I thought it was worth putting up here)...
title:
MONSTROUS PARTICULARS & ABSTRACT AUTOBIOGRAPHIES
text:
I've been trying to write something about the monstrosity of practice-based research. About how much I hate it, but that, in hindsight, it's obviously been rather fruitful for me. I want to say that practice-led research tends toward autobiography, and that its inevitable that we've all become quite monstrous here - too much time spent in front of the mirror (mine have been those warped and disorienting ones you can find at Coney Island). Followed by something witty - jocuserious - about the horrific realisation that I had somehow become the object and subject of my own research. But then, of course, to articulate my point (all monsters have at least one sharp point) that only through this painful realisation - the creation of my own worst enemy, my own Mr Hyde, a self-motivated self-disruption bordering on masochistic nihilism - could I (we?) have made any progress. What kind of progress have I made? Like Victor Frankenstein's monster, mine has made me realise what's important, but unlike poor Victor and Dr Jekyll I hope I've been able to 'pull out' in time, for this is dangerous work. But sometimes things need to be destroyed to be rebuilt. And if I sound overly cynical or negative it's because I've found that the generally destructive dynamics of monstrosity - aberration, fear, illegitimacy, exaggeration, provocation, failure (you could go on but these are the ones I'm interested in) - might be rendered momentarily useful. Indeed, through the manifestation of my own cynicism - traversing my own discomfort and fear - I have, almost unconsciously, managed to re-engage with a practice/domain that I had previously all but given up on. I still think graphic design is a bit trite and banal, but that interests me now... deeply perhaps. And somehow that's all I really wanted anyway. To be more engaged by it.
I'm being brash and a little vague, so I guess I'll just propose monstrosity as a generative metaphor within practice-led learning - a strategy for extracting the implicit and the particular, and a methodology for articulating and/or negotiating the beast that will inevitably appear in explicit and abstract terms. How to write about yourself? How to negotiate the narcissism of it all? And to be honest, I want to see others suffer as I have done. If I don't I'll be skeptical about what they've gotten out of all this, that's all.
Posted by Luke Wood at May 9, 2006 11:10 AM